Monday, February 25, 2008

3 Weeks

As of yesterday Anika has been with us for 3 weeks and home for 2 weeks and 2 days. It is hard to believe that it has only been 3 weeks since the elevator doors opened on the third floor of the Marriott and there she was smiling in her foster mother's arms. It all seemed so surreal as we met with her foster family in the baby lounge asking all the questions we could possibly think of in a moment as monumental as that. It was a good thing we had been emailing back and forth in the weeks leading up to our trip and had most of the information we needed ahead of time because I was just in awe of Anika and in shock that this was really happening. After we said our goodbye's to her foster family we stayed in the lounge for a few minutes to collect our selves and then headed to the room. We were shocked at how little Anika grieved for her foster family in the days right after we met her. It was in direct contrast to Alex who although was much younger at 4 1/2 months was so very sad during our time in Guatemala. In fact Anika seemed not to be phased at all for the first week or so even when we returned home. We were beginning frankly to worry about her lack of grieving. Well I am happy to say that while it is so so hard to watch, Anika is now finally showing some signs of sadness. I am happy because this means she is now dealing with the huge change she has been through and starting to attach to us emotionally. She has started to wake up at night and sometimes after naps crying for "MAMA" and when she see's me is very very angry and distraught. It is not me that she is looking for but her foster Mother. She woke from a nap after Alex got home one day last week and Alex was so upset. "Why is she afraid of us Mommy?" Ok that about killed me. I tried to explain it and he ran and got a picture of Anika's foster Mom. My sweet sweet boy!!!! I have been working with Anika during the day and we are seeing good progress in her attachment. She woke up from 3 naps today SMILING!!!!!!!! :) So I wanted to post this since I know that there are waiting families that read my blog and I wanted to be truthful about our whole experience. Anika is really doing well considering that she was taken from the only family she had ever known 3 weeks ago at the age of 9 months. I am so thankful that we are so privileged to be her forever family! We love you Anika and we will never leave you. I know you don't believe that now but you will. Just ask your big brother! Love to you. Mommy,Daddy and Alex


Bobbi said...

What a great post. Emotional and honest.

Reese too did well with us. Overall, he did fabulous. In Guat. he was fine with us even when he woke up, but once we got home he was scared when I would go to get him. It took a very long time for that to change.

Also, we still have to be careful about who watches Reese. He gets easily stressed and scared. He seems to worry that we are going to leave him again.

Anika, you have a wonderful family. Enjoy them.

Victoria & Joe said...

WOW!! That was an emotional post for me. I realize everyday longer it takes to get Jazlynn home is a day longer she bonds there. This is such an emotional trip we are taking. You have to experience to truly understand it. WOW! Thanks so much for being honest that is what we all need that are still waiting.

Cindy said...

It will get better as the days pass. Daniel was a year old when we brought him home. His grieving started in Guat. within an hour of the foster mother leaving. It took about 6-7 months for him to be fully adjusted and attached to us. Now at the age of two, we also are going through a stage of Daniel being afraid we are going to leave him.

Guatmama said...

Absolutely precious - thanks for posting the real emotions. They are as much a part of the process as all of the fun times!

The gFamily said...

Thank you for your honesty! It helps me to be better prepared as we pick up our daughter next week!

I love her smiles! SO pretty!

K Leclercq said...

Great post! This process is so much more than I could have ever imagined!

Steph said...

Thank you for sharing and be so honest. I have been thinking about this a lot lately and realizing that we really need to be prepared for the grieving and loss that comes along with this amazing journey. I think I will be looking to you in the the future! :)

Frances said...

Thank you for your helps to hear this! I would love to know what you mean when you say "you worked with her during the day." You can find my email on my blog if you feel comfortable sharing, I would love to listen (-:

Your daughter is absolutely beautiful! I love the pictures of her hair cut!

Waiting on Rosalie

Nicole said...

Hi Tracy,
Your post inspired me to share our recent days... they've been tough.

Love Anika's new haircut! :)